Insecurities
01/07/2017 | 23:32 | 0 Sweety
Aku dalam satu pemikiran di mana aku kena flawless, have a better skin, normal height to feel beautiful. Aku rasa nak baling batu kat diri aku sendiri sebab tak reti nak bersyukur. Aku banyak habis duit untuk macam macam jenis skincare to get that flawless "things". When i was in Form 2. I started to have this acne problem. It is not just one or two pimples. Its the real acne, the cystic painful one all over my forehead & cheeks. Buat aku rasa macam aku ni spotlight yang tarik perhatian semua orang. At one point, aku pernah taknak keluar rumah langsung because of malu. Aku keluar just untuk pergi sekolah. Duduk depan cermin and tengok diri sendiri. That is when that cliche things always came out "Why i cant be like them" "When i can be flawless" "I want better skin". However, that is not the WORST part. Apa yang menambah garam pada luka ialah kata kata dari orang, sometimes the close ones. Diorang maybe ingat its just a joke. Tapi sakit dia sampai ke dalam tu haa. It hurt like crazy. It felt like you were standing at the edge of the cliff,struggling to balance yourself not to fall,hoping that someone would reach out to you and they just pushed you right to the bottom. Benda macam ni lah yang tak elok sebenarnya. It is not healthy, they have to go. Kita kena ubah cara ni. Jangan biar diorang bawak kau into the dark place di mana kau start pikir macam macam pasal diri kau. Apa yang kurang dalam diri kau. All the insecurities came out. Mind you, some people go into depression because of this!!
Kalau orang tinggalkan kau because of your physical imperfections, biarkan diorang pergi. You don't need that kind of human being in your life. Aku selalu berada dalam kalangan orang orang yang macamni. And its broke me too much. Little did u know? Bila orang lagi kisah pasal cacat cela yang ada kat muka kau than what you have in your soul. Diorang bukan untuk kau. Bear in mind. You can get better, tapi perangai & mentaliti manusia macam tu belum tentu can be better. Everyone can changed, ya i know. Itu pun kalau diorang nak ubah diri diorang. I think they have to go through some hardcore cleansing and brain washing! Hahahahahahaha
Ada sesetengah orang yang mungkin dalam keadaan di mana tengah hancur because of someone that u really love just left. Or you are simply hurt or just feeling hopeless about whatever insecurities you may have. Suatu masa, akan ada orang yang boleh terima kau seadanya. He the ones who can see the beautiful& unique you can be. Apa yang aku boleh cakap, just hang there! Be strong and keep moving forward. Terus cuba dan mencuba untuk jadi yang terbaik. You will see all the blessings behind this difficult phase unravel themselves soon insyaAllah. Percaya pada takdir Allah.
To the people out there, telling people they are fat won't let you be any skinnier, telling people they are pendek wont make u even taller, telling people how bad their skin are never make u even prettier la dey!!! telling people how bad they are won't make you any better, nitpicking and judging every single wrong doing people did won't make you a saint. Be kind,use a gentle approach. Yes you might have a good intention but that is not a good enough reason and in fact it should not be a reason to be harsh and hurt people. You never know how your words can affect other people especially when they are already vulnerable having so much in their plates. Be careful and think before you speak or now should I say think before you type? Pikir pikir kan lah. Lots of love from me.
I am a boring person